My entry for Times of India - Write India contest - Jan2016. Hope you like it.
The letter came by post. It was not usual to get letters these days, so I carefully opened the envelope.
It was a wedding invite from my closest friend in college, Madhav.
I skipped the usual cordialities and jumped to the part where it was written:
I could not help but smile when I saw the bride’s name.
“So, finally, Madhav gets to marry her.” I said to myself.
It was nice to know that the adventure which had started so suddenly in my own room, had ended so perfectly.
It was a warm afternoon in October. The weather was beautiful in that small township of Rourkela in Orissa. We were in our second year in Engineering College.
Being a Sunday, there were no classes that day. I had finished my lunch, and was back in my room with a book I had borrowed from a friend.
I had just started to read when, when my door was flung open and Madhav was there, gasping for air.
“You…must…see her! I think she…is the one for me!” he had said between inhalations.
“Who?” I had replied.
“I saw her at Punjabi Rasoi. I had gone there for lunch with my juniors and there she was. We looked at each other and I knew we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives! I think she felt it too, because she smiled at me” he said.
“Only when you are in love can smiles foretell future events, you know?”
“Stop reading too much Paulo Coelho, Madhav.” I had joked.
Now, as I held the letter in my hand, I smiled at the turn of events, and how prophetic were Madhav’s words.
“If you hurry, you lazy assed bugger, we may see her again. They are going to the market. I got my bike filled up. Let’s go!”
Madhav was a man of action.
I remembered frantically searching for a clean shirt, spraying some deodorant and getting on the bike, as Madhav gunned it towards the Market place.
The market was a single storeyed building which had every kind of stores, from clothes to stationaries and small restaurants. There were internet cafés and even phone booths.
“I think there she is…” Madhav spoke as he had parked the bike.
I looked in the direction he was pointing to, and saw a girl in a yellow salwar-kameez entering a shop.
She was pretty and had a calm aura about her. It was as if she had a quiet certainty about her and was not rushing about to get somewhere in life.
Madhav was the opposite. Probably that was what he fell for.
“Now what?” I remembered asking.
“Do you think I should go and speak to her? Or do you think I should just stalk her for a few months and see how it goes?”
“We have tried the wait-and-watch plan with Neha last time.” I analysed. “But now she is going around with that other guy.” I concluded.
“So, go up to her and speak up. I have heard that girls like confident guys.” I had recommended based on my analysis.
“Okay..” Madhav had agreed. I was surprised at his determination.
I ordered a coffee from the roadside shop and had watched him run up the stairs into the building. But a minute later I had forgotten about the coffee because I realised that he had started speaking to her. And a moment after that, he was laughing and she looked quite comfortable.
A few seconds later, I saw Madhav take out his cell phone and type something.
SUCCESS.
I had thrown the rest of the coffee, paid the guy and had rushed to the nearest liquor store. The occasion deserved the blessings of the Old Monk.
I remembered celebrating in his room that night, with some music, alcohol and the five minutes of chat that they had had.
The girl had told Madhav that he resembled a very dear friend she had as a child. Madhav had rightly picked up her hint and had exchanged numbers.
He had turned out to be smarter than I had given him credit for earlier. Madhav had proposed to Tanuja the next month. The road ahead, for them, looked straight as a stick.
As I held the invitation letter, I felt the personal connection I had with this marriage and decided to book my tickets immediately.
But then, almost simultaneously, a sudden sadness come over me. Like a cloud passing over the midday sun, it was brief, but undeniable.
A name I had learnt to live without, seared across my mind like an age-old wound that refused to heal.
Karen.
***
Karen Patrick. College Topper. Gold Medal Winner. And the only girl I had ever loved.
And probably still do.
It still shocked me when I thought about how abruptly and sadly it had ended on the day of our college farewell. Since then, I had never tried to start another relationship. The pain took its time to heal, but every now and then, it would erupt at the slightest excuse, leaving me heartbroken for days on end.
Karen Patrick.
She did say that our relationship would start with an end date, but I never thought that the date would ever come. It did and it came faster than it looked like at first.
We were in our first year in college. I had seen her walk up to the first bench with a self-confidence I had never felt in a Maths lecture.
From the next day onwards, even I had started to sit on the first row.
It was not that I had started to work hard on my maths and was able to answer the lecturer’s questions. But I just could not bear to watch her from the back benches.
I wanted her to know me. Even if, as the guy who always got humiliated by the teacher. At least she always looked at me whenever I was asked to stand up.
One day she had smiled, when I looked at her to see if she was looking at me. I was ecstatic.
But I had decided to play the silent game for some time, until one day, in the THIRD year, Madhav got tired of me and told me that if I did not speak to her, then it is better to forget her. There was only a year left in college and after that it was all over.
Something in my heart sprang up that evening, as we were lying down on the football ground, watching the stars, and drinking.
Probably it was the alcohol, but a strange sense of courage came over me, and I had picked up the phone, dialled Karen’s number and proposed to her!
Her reply was that if I could say the same things the next morning face-to-face, she would think about it.
The next morning, after some mugs of tea from the hostel mess to clear the hangover, I realized that I had to face Karen.
A wave of panic had swept over me, and I had started to run to my room, when Madhav caught me by my neck and had dragged me to the class.
Karen was there along with her friends and the teacher had not come in. I vaguely remember walking up to, mumbling out my proposal for a relationship and rushing out of the class.
I had bunked classes that day, and had spent the day at the canteen, brooding over what I had done. It looked like everything was over for me. But the sound of an incoming sms had shaken me off my brooding.
It was Karen!!
It read:
Can u meet me at the coffee shop outside college @ 5:00pm?
I was in a state of bewilderment.
I checked the watch and it was already 4:30. I rushed to my room and for the second time in my life, I remembered frantically searching for a clean shirt to wear, and jumping behind Madhav as he started the bike.
We reached there a few minutes later, and as I stood near the coffee shop, Madhav went inside a book shop across the road.
When Karen came, I literally felt like I had drunk jet-engine fuel, because my heart was racing like one.
She smiled and we went inside the café. She led me to a corner table, and after we sat down, she said, “I always knew you liked me. It was very evident, Vinay.”
The smile on her face, as she said those words, made my heart glow warm with happiness.
“But, I do not know how long a relationship will last. After college, I will go to the US for higher studies. Don’t get me wrong, and I am not saying no, but I also do not want to give you any false hopes.”
I was at a loss of words, like I always am. But I remembered asking myself, what my heart wanted. It was quite clear.
“If you are fine with it, I want to risk it. Probably our relationship may last for a year only, but I want that year.” I was surprised at my clarity. Probably even she was.
“But, I would also need to give more time to my studies and prepare for my masters. I will not be able to spend much time with you.”
There was a strange eagerness in her voice, as if she wanted me to give her some answers to these questions.
“I don’t go around watching movies myself, Karen. I am not a pushy, demanding guy too. I would be glad to spend whatever time, we can together. I just don’t want to let go of something that means a lot to me, just because the timing was not right. “
Karen seemed to be okay with my explanation.
She had thought for a few seconds, looked up and said, “Okay. But I must leave now. It’s time the hostel gates would close and I need to buy some stuffs.”
We had walked out of the coffee shop, as a couple. And I remember seeing Madhav from the corner of my eye, rushing into the nearest wine shop.
The only year of our relationship had gone as she had predicted. We hardly got to meet each other, and whatever time we could find between her classes, projects and official ladies hostel timings, we spent together. As the days passed by, even this time got less and we were just speaking to each other over phone.
Amidst all the events and hustle of the final semester examinations, campus recruitment and her master’s examination, we saw time fly, and before long, it was the dreaded college farewell day – the night she would be leaving to her home; and from there, she would leave for the US in a few months.
That evening when everyone was wishing everyone else good luck, we held each other’s hands and did not speak a word, rather, we could not speak any word.
There was a point during that year, when I had also decided to go for my Masters, but deep down I knew very well that soon I would have to start earning. I had never felt the barbed-wire fences of middle-class life cut so deep before.
That night as people were leaving their hostels, I had gone to drop her off at the train station. It was on the ride on the auto-rickshaw where we finally decided that it was better to end the relationship, than to let it drag along with a mere hope that maybe we would meet someday.
We felt that it would only sour the relationship and it was better to part off on good terms.
I had kissed her for the first time when she was about to board the train, and we bid farewell.
I remembered riding the bike all the way to my hostel with tears flowing down my eyes uncontrollably.
That night I had cried on and on, and Madhav had been there with me.
A drop of tear slid down my face. Quickly, I opened my laptop to book the tickets to Bangalore in an attempt to get my mind off the matter.A few moments later, the tickets were booked and the thought of seeing my friends again, uplifted my spirits.
The days passed quickly in anticipation of the re-union and finally the day had come when I was to catch my early morning flight to Bangalore.
It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.
I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter. I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.
“Karen….” I blurted out.
She did not look at me, but looked down.
Was I mistaken?
I decided to step out of the line and approach her directly.
“Is that you, Karen?”
She turned around. Her eyes were red and it was evident she had been crying for some time.
“I had already seen you getting off the cab, and was trying to hide.” She said. “… I am glad you did not take three years to talk to me this time.”
My head had started to spin now. How can Karen be here in Delhi and I did not know about it.
“When did you come to India…?” I asked. “Till when are you here?”
“I got a job in Google and chose Bangalore. I guess I had a chance I would meet you there…” she said, her voice, shaking with emotion.
My mind was whirling at everything that was happening.
“You mad girl… why didn’t you call me…” I asked.
“I don’t have your number and you are not on facebook, twitter …not even on Orkut. What kind of a jerk are you? Your girl tries to contact you and you don’t even have …” she stopped.
I knew what she was wondering. I knew the questions which would be storming through her mind now.
“Don’t worry, Karen….my girl has found her guy now” and I hugged her there as people passed us by giving weird looks. We were just too happy to care.
The re-union had begun.
***
It was a wedding invite from my closest friend in college, Madhav.
I skipped the usual cordialities and jumped to the part where it was written:
____________________
Madhav Weds Tanuja
__________________
I could not help but smile when I saw the bride’s name.
“So, finally, Madhav gets to marry her.” I said to myself.
It was nice to know that the adventure which had started so suddenly in my own room, had ended so perfectly.
It was a warm afternoon in October. The weather was beautiful in that small township of Rourkela in Orissa. We were in our second year in Engineering College.
Being a Sunday, there were no classes that day. I had finished my lunch, and was back in my room with a book I had borrowed from a friend.
I had just started to read when, when my door was flung open and Madhav was there, gasping for air.
“You…must…see her! I think she…is the one for me!” he had said between inhalations.
“Who?” I had replied.
“I saw her at Punjabi Rasoi. I had gone there for lunch with my juniors and there she was. We looked at each other and I knew we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives! I think she felt it too, because she smiled at me” he said.
“Only when you are in love can smiles foretell future events, you know?”
“Stop reading too much Paulo Coelho, Madhav.” I had joked.
Now, as I held the letter in my hand, I smiled at the turn of events, and how prophetic were Madhav’s words.
“If you hurry, you lazy assed bugger, we may see her again. They are going to the market. I got my bike filled up. Let’s go!”
Madhav was a man of action.
I remembered frantically searching for a clean shirt, spraying some deodorant and getting on the bike, as Madhav gunned it towards the Market place.
The market was a single storeyed building which had every kind of stores, from clothes to stationaries and small restaurants. There were internet cafés and even phone booths.
“I think there she is…” Madhav spoke as he had parked the bike.
I looked in the direction he was pointing to, and saw a girl in a yellow salwar-kameez entering a shop.
She was pretty and had a calm aura about her. It was as if she had a quiet certainty about her and was not rushing about to get somewhere in life.
Madhav was the opposite. Probably that was what he fell for.
“Now what?” I remembered asking.
“Do you think I should go and speak to her? Or do you think I should just stalk her for a few months and see how it goes?”
“We have tried the wait-and-watch plan with Neha last time.” I analysed. “But now she is going around with that other guy.” I concluded.
“So, go up to her and speak up. I have heard that girls like confident guys.” I had recommended based on my analysis.
“Okay..” Madhav had agreed. I was surprised at his determination.
I ordered a coffee from the roadside shop and had watched him run up the stairs into the building. But a minute later I had forgotten about the coffee because I realised that he had started speaking to her. And a moment after that, he was laughing and she looked quite comfortable.
A few seconds later, I saw Madhav take out his cell phone and type something.
SUCCESS.
I had thrown the rest of the coffee, paid the guy and had rushed to the nearest liquor store. The occasion deserved the blessings of the Old Monk.
I remembered celebrating in his room that night, with some music, alcohol and the five minutes of chat that they had had.
The girl had told Madhav that he resembled a very dear friend she had as a child. Madhav had rightly picked up her hint and had exchanged numbers.
He had turned out to be smarter than I had given him credit for earlier. Madhav had proposed to Tanuja the next month. The road ahead, for them, looked straight as a stick.
As I held the invitation letter, I felt the personal connection I had with this marriage and decided to book my tickets immediately.
But then, almost simultaneously, a sudden sadness come over me. Like a cloud passing over the midday sun, it was brief, but undeniable.
A name I had learnt to live without, seared across my mind like an age-old wound that refused to heal.
Karen.
***
Karen Patrick. College Topper. Gold Medal Winner. And the only girl I had ever loved.
And probably still do.
It still shocked me when I thought about how abruptly and sadly it had ended on the day of our college farewell. Since then, I had never tried to start another relationship. The pain took its time to heal, but every now and then, it would erupt at the slightest excuse, leaving me heartbroken for days on end.
Karen Patrick.
She did say that our relationship would start with an end date, but I never thought that the date would ever come. It did and it came faster than it looked like at first.
We were in our first year in college. I had seen her walk up to the first bench with a self-confidence I had never felt in a Maths lecture.
From the next day onwards, even I had started to sit on the first row.
It was not that I had started to work hard on my maths and was able to answer the lecturer’s questions. But I just could not bear to watch her from the back benches.
I wanted her to know me. Even if, as the guy who always got humiliated by the teacher. At least she always looked at me whenever I was asked to stand up.
One day she had smiled, when I looked at her to see if she was looking at me. I was ecstatic.
But I had decided to play the silent game for some time, until one day, in the THIRD year, Madhav got tired of me and told me that if I did not speak to her, then it is better to forget her. There was only a year left in college and after that it was all over.
Something in my heart sprang up that evening, as we were lying down on the football ground, watching the stars, and drinking.
Probably it was the alcohol, but a strange sense of courage came over me, and I had picked up the phone, dialled Karen’s number and proposed to her!
Her reply was that if I could say the same things the next morning face-to-face, she would think about it.
The next morning, after some mugs of tea from the hostel mess to clear the hangover, I realized that I had to face Karen.
A wave of panic had swept over me, and I had started to run to my room, when Madhav caught me by my neck and had dragged me to the class.
Karen was there along with her friends and the teacher had not come in. I vaguely remember walking up to, mumbling out my proposal for a relationship and rushing out of the class.
I had bunked classes that day, and had spent the day at the canteen, brooding over what I had done. It looked like everything was over for me. But the sound of an incoming sms had shaken me off my brooding.
It was Karen!!
It read:
Can u meet me at the coffee shop outside college @ 5:00pm?
I was in a state of bewilderment.
I checked the watch and it was already 4:30. I rushed to my room and for the second time in my life, I remembered frantically searching for a clean shirt to wear, and jumping behind Madhav as he started the bike.
We reached there a few minutes later, and as I stood near the coffee shop, Madhav went inside a book shop across the road.
When Karen came, I literally felt like I had drunk jet-engine fuel, because my heart was racing like one.
She smiled and we went inside the café. She led me to a corner table, and after we sat down, she said, “I always knew you liked me. It was very evident, Vinay.”
The smile on her face, as she said those words, made my heart glow warm with happiness.
“But, I do not know how long a relationship will last. After college, I will go to the US for higher studies. Don’t get me wrong, and I am not saying no, but I also do not want to give you any false hopes.”
I was at a loss of words, like I always am. But I remembered asking myself, what my heart wanted. It was quite clear.
“If you are fine with it, I want to risk it. Probably our relationship may last for a year only, but I want that year.” I was surprised at my clarity. Probably even she was.
“But, I would also need to give more time to my studies and prepare for my masters. I will not be able to spend much time with you.”
There was a strange eagerness in her voice, as if she wanted me to give her some answers to these questions.
“I don’t go around watching movies myself, Karen. I am not a pushy, demanding guy too. I would be glad to spend whatever time, we can together. I just don’t want to let go of something that means a lot to me, just because the timing was not right. “
Karen seemed to be okay with my explanation.
She had thought for a few seconds, looked up and said, “Okay. But I must leave now. It’s time the hostel gates would close and I need to buy some stuffs.”
We had walked out of the coffee shop, as a couple. And I remember seeing Madhav from the corner of my eye, rushing into the nearest wine shop.
The only year of our relationship had gone as she had predicted. We hardly got to meet each other, and whatever time we could find between her classes, projects and official ladies hostel timings, we spent together. As the days passed by, even this time got less and we were just speaking to each other over phone.
Amidst all the events and hustle of the final semester examinations, campus recruitment and her master’s examination, we saw time fly, and before long, it was the dreaded college farewell day – the night she would be leaving to her home; and from there, she would leave for the US in a few months.
That evening when everyone was wishing everyone else good luck, we held each other’s hands and did not speak a word, rather, we could not speak any word.
There was a point during that year, when I had also decided to go for my Masters, but deep down I knew very well that soon I would have to start earning. I had never felt the barbed-wire fences of middle-class life cut so deep before.
That night as people were leaving their hostels, I had gone to drop her off at the train station. It was on the ride on the auto-rickshaw where we finally decided that it was better to end the relationship, than to let it drag along with a mere hope that maybe we would meet someday.
We felt that it would only sour the relationship and it was better to part off on good terms.
I had kissed her for the first time when she was about to board the train, and we bid farewell.
I remembered riding the bike all the way to my hostel with tears flowing down my eyes uncontrollably.
That night I had cried on and on, and Madhav had been there with me.
A drop of tear slid down my face. Quickly, I opened my laptop to book the tickets to Bangalore in an attempt to get my mind off the matter.A few moments later, the tickets were booked and the thought of seeing my friends again, uplifted my spirits.
The days passed quickly in anticipation of the re-union and finally the day had come when I was to catch my early morning flight to Bangalore.
It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.
I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter. I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.
“Karen….” I blurted out.
She did not look at me, but looked down.
Was I mistaken?
I decided to step out of the line and approach her directly.
“Is that you, Karen?”
She turned around. Her eyes were red and it was evident she had been crying for some time.
“I had already seen you getting off the cab, and was trying to hide.” She said. “… I am glad you did not take three years to talk to me this time.”
My head had started to spin now. How can Karen be here in Delhi and I did not know about it.
“When did you come to India…?” I asked. “Till when are you here?”
“I got a job in Google and chose Bangalore. I guess I had a chance I would meet you there…” she said, her voice, shaking with emotion.
My mind was whirling at everything that was happening.
“You mad girl… why didn’t you call me…” I asked.
“I don’t have your number and you are not on facebook, twitter …not even on Orkut. What kind of a jerk are you? Your girl tries to contact you and you don’t even have …” she stopped.
I knew what she was wondering. I knew the questions which would be storming through her mind now.
“Don’t worry, Karen….my girl has found her guy now” and I hugged her there as people passed us by giving weird looks. We were just too happy to care.
The re-union had begun.
